My home having limited space, I have found it convenient to house a portion of my library within my mind. The shelves there of imaginary books never need dusting, and their contents are besides all mine, as opposed to the clunky palpable volumes I must share with their authors, and even, in a way, with previous readers. This single parentage leaves the unreal titles with a certain simplicity, but it lends them as well a kind of lightness due to their airy conception. Should these titles evanesce tomorrow, they are easily replaceable by a functioning fancy, in which case yours will do as well as mine.
Though secondary
sources for many of these authors are elusive, the reader might always find a
good account in the literary history of St. John Landers-Hoopes (who never
objected to the public addressing him by his school nickname “Skoochy”). His compendious if dated survey The Long Landscape
of Literature treats every author here mentioned, and a select few are
discussed in the more familiar and impressionistic essays of his Languors in
the Library.
On the shelf’s
left side, claiming chronological precedence, is a collection of Old English poetry,
including the “Song of the Swab” (“in scudding storms I swept the decks”) and
the devotional “Mariner Christ” (“o steer, my son, by highest star”) as well as
a fragment of The Battle of Buldkippen (“then came skirmish and slash,
spar and set-to”). Awash in sibilant
alliteration, the browser will turn with relief to gossipy revelations of
Beowulf’s character flaws in “Unferths Giedd.”
The Middle
English section includes the rollicking mystery plays treating The Likerish
King Solomon and Noah Atþe Tauerne once performed as part of the
observance of Corpus Christi by the people of Pucklechurch in South
Gloucestershire. Of interest to students
of intellectual history is Gregory Grosseteste’s De philosophia mundi and
his Tractatus Concerning the Revision of Ptolemy’s Geography based on
Arabic sources and bound with his equally erroneous works on optics, algebra,
and bee-keeping.
Next is a fat
volume from the towering figure of the later medieval period Laurence Lemman
including his Bouquet of Lovers’ Laments, recounting Biblical and
Classical tales, replete with pathos and love-longing, and the dream allegory The
Battle Between the Scorpions and the Nightingales which allegorically
represents factions in the court of Richard II, the movements of the planets in
the night sky, and a soap opera-like love triangle. On a lighter theme Lemman also retold fabliaux
such as the “Tale of Priscilla’s Handy-Man” and “Thieving Tom Scores Again.”
A charming if
more obscure work possesses the space next to Lemman’s fat volume: the graceful
tail-rhyme romance of “The Knight of the Dolorous Tooth.” Likewise anonymous and inspired by similarly unmerited
suffering, The Narrative of the Life of St Swithun details the bishop’s
mortification by providential bunions while making his diocesan rounds. Not included in the saint’s hagiography are
two songs discovered in the faintest notation In the margin of his copy of St.
Bernard’s Sermons on the Song of Songs: “Herkne to mine wonges wan” and “Bryng
vs in an ocean of ale,” the latter sung yet today at the High Table of Oxford.
The shelf’s
Elizabethan section incudes Devereux Cholmondeley’s sonnet sequence Frumentum
and Solitia, the delightful Latin lyric “Thōmâs, Thōmâs, filius tibicine,”
and a selection of his drama containing the comic Never Too Much, a tragedy
relating The Lamentable Reign of King Ooboo, and the unclassifiable Seasonable
as Snow in Summer. (Regrettably,
none of these plays has ever been brought to the stage, and the only historical
records of their author concern his numerous prosecutions for debt and
disorderly conduct.)
There follows a
slim but complete book of the poems of the seventeenth century Cavalier Sir
John Cribbage, known for such delicate and melodious lyrics as “Snipping the
Tulips of Youth,” “A Meeting with the Milkmaid of Devon,” and “The Rose that is
Most Ravishing.” His more spiritual
poems include “Sunk in a Cesspool of Sin” and one written in a more passionately
mystical moment, “Licking the Wounds of my Lord” of which Buxtehude made a moving
chorale.
There follows a
volume of essays by Denis Mowbray first published in the periodical Chit-Chat
under the name Scriptor Stultus. The
author, descended from six generations of younger sons and finding himself on
Grub Street, wrote such familiar favorites as “The Cavalier Who Could Not
Ride,” “Boiled Beef and Grey Peas,” and “A Late Stroll on Pall Mall.” These appear in an edition along with a
selection of pieces by his colleague Timothy Toff using the name Jackanapes,
including “Dozing on Chevy Chase,” “Advice Better Given Than Taken,” and “The
Most Picturesque Beggar in Covent Garden.”
With the arrival
of neo-Classicism and the reign of heroic couplets came Jonas Dryasdust, writer
of the literary satire Doctor Asinus and his Disciples, the
philosophical musings of The Nature of Things, as well as such brief
occasional pieces as “Mrs. Lovejoy’s Nosegay” and “On Tossing a Bone to Flora’s
Fido.” His essay “On the Poet’s
Profession” stresses his concern with craft: “just as a fool may be shown to
advantage, with sufficient polish even the dullest of sententiae can be
brought to sparkle anew.”
Oliver Wickham, “the
melodious finch of Staffordshire,” was an early suicide, but first composed a
revealing allegory, The Palace of Indulgence, the topographical survey
“The Potteries,” and short pieces such as “A Lofty View of Stoke-on-Trent” and
“An Ode on Desuetude.”
Toward the
eighteenth century’s end came the chilling mysteries of Mrs. Cudworthy’s Lost
in Italian Mists and The Jesuitical Pirate, as well as several anonymous
novels from the Athena Press: The Convent Ruins and Cries from the
Old Castle.
The Collected
Poetry of Miles Warnham marks a turn in poetic taste. Warnham is remembered for such favorites as
his “Expostulation to a Clod,” “A Distant View of Lincoln Minster,” and “On
Peckishness.” He boldly announced his
dissent from the prevailing style with the influential preface “The Harp with
Fancy Freed,” which advocated “uplifting the mundane with a steam-engine’s afflatus.”
Later, in less energetic terms, Warnham
described the process as “tossing upon my subject a water-color wash of tastefully
dilute genius.”
For much of the
nineteenth century, the influential poet laureate Lord Timothy Wiggins enjoyed
a popularity (now long vanished) based on early lyrics that appeared in Posies,
an Annual such as “Robin Hood’s Gambit” and “The Nasturtiums Speak.” His metrical retelling of the life of Henry
VIII, The Giant of England’s Destiny, which suppresses all but the first
of the monarch’s marriages, has likewise aged poorly. His poems celebrating the queen and her
relatives and their many birthdays have yet to inspire even a
dissertation.
Then, toward the
end of the nineteenth century, one finds the works of the notorious Geoffrey
Greville, better known by his nom de plume Sylvester Sybaris, including
the scandalous novels Ganymede in Soho and Lost in Lethe as
well as his little chapbook, a pamphlet really, Lavender Lyrics, the
composition of which exhausted the author so that he was obliged to spend the
year 1897 receiving visitors from a bed trimmed in peacock feathers.
The collector of
imaginary books has little taste for the present, so the last book, were it
real, would have been published slightly over a hundred years ago: T. L.
Cosgrove’s dark Modernist epic, The Cursed City (“the dark, dank nectar
of the gutter/ has dripped upon my spats”).
Perhaps one day
one of the works from this shelf will be committed to paper, but not by
me. These days, it is all I can do of a
summer afternoon to recline on my sofa, having selected a volume from the
conceptual shelf for review. My book
will have the advantage of weightlessness, which facilitates reading supine and,
when I do not fall into a doze, I find myself lifted into the aether by the
author’s precious turns of phrase and profound insights. I almost hear the snorts of Pegasus sounding rather
hexametric. Like dreams, however, these
impressions are composed of gossamer and are all but instantly blown away by
the breeze of time. The remainder of
one’s memories, knowledge, and taste, of course, last only a short while longer,
but we each have a turn at playing the part of homo ludens and we can
rejoice that among our toys are marvelous words and curious books, almost
aglow, prickly with palpable meaning.